


*Hacker Voice* I'm In: The Fanfiction

by Chase Hult (TheSighless)



Category: Contemporary American Culture, English III, No Fandom
Genre: CAC, English III - Freeform, English assignment, F/F, F/M, Gen, Hacker, Hackers, M/M, Military, Multi, Other, Period A, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck), Satire, characters, it's good, read this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-04-13
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2020-02-29 16:48:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18782218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSighless/pseuds/Chase%20Hult
Summary: Ivan Ivanikovski, a prolific Russian hacker who goes by the name of Тайный, has gotten ahold of some classified FBI files of extreme importance.  The FBI is completely unable to stop Ivan, so Sergeant Wolf has to contact the last person he'd expect, an equally infamous hacker known as Nyxxis.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Laura Holmgren](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Laura+Holmgren).



(AN: This is my original work!  DO NOT STEAL!!!!)

The alarms blared as bright red lights flooded the room. They had been in a long treacherous fight against their greatest foe, and this was the signal that they had lost. Sergeant Wolf pounded his fists on his desk in anguish as he gritted his teeth. He despised what his next steps were to be, but he knew there was no chance of success without _him_.

After five long months of long nights of defending the files, they had been stolen. It was no secret who had taken them: Тайный, the elite Russian hacker also known as T. Sergeant Wolf stood up from his desk. His clothes stuck to him uncomfortably as the water sprayed down on him from the sprinklers above. One of his many medals of valor had fallen off from his quick, violent actions. He ignored it, knowing it would have been found by someone else later..

He took a deep breath in before his voice boomed loudly over the speakers: "I am Sergeant Dirk Wolf, and I am announcing a code red."  He spoke over the alarms, and the people shouting at each other frantically. He grimaced at himself in disgust before he sat down at the nearest terminal and started typing.

Last login: Sun May 5 15:46:28 on ttys001  
Welcome Sergeant D. Wolf  
sh-3.2# hideMe  
Hiding IP...  
Done! Your network is now untraceable!  
sh-3.2# chatWith 23.2523.235.3  
Starting client PesterChum. Starting a chat with IP 23.2523.235.3.  
* crewcutCaptain [CC] has requested to pester godlikeTestificate [GT].  
* godlikeTestificate [GT] has accepted the request.  
GT: yo, sup wolfie  
CC: Nyxxis please. I, on behalf of the US military, would like to request your services to regain some lost files.  
CC: (Begrudgingly too, may I add off the record)  
GT: uhhhh y lol  
GT: arent we like lowkey enemies n stuff like yknow  
CC: Desperate times call for desperate measures, Nyxxis. Also, please maintain a level of professionalism. Your bright text is already obnoxious enough.  
GT: na lol. anyway whore we up against?  
CC: It's T. I'm sure you've heard of him.  
GT: uhhhh russian guy?  
CC: Yes. "Russian Guy."  
CC: His pesterchum handle is still unknown, but we're putting our best work in to try to find it.  
GT: lol ik it btw if u want  
GT: u want it  
CC: ...  
CC: Yes. I would.  
* godlikeTestificate [GT] has requested $400 through PayPal.  
CC: Nyxxis. Please.  
GT: nyxxis. lowercase n lol. neway fine. its uhh  
GT: technomanticCriminal   
CC: Huh. Seems a little... on the nose?  
GT: ye lol   
GT: anyway what do u want me to do and what am i gonna get in return lmao  
CC: Ah. Yes, your debriefing. T has stolen our files for our latest military project: Project Darksteel. We were able to get an IP of one of his proxy servers, and I'd like you to retrieve the files from his main hard drive, delete them, and send them to us. In return, we are willing to offer $50,000.  
GT: $100000  
CC: Nyxxis. Please.  
GT: *nyxxis and uhh what about 50001  
CC: ... Fine.  
CC: Here's his IP: 271.235.162.32.  
CC: Good luck.  
GT: lol bye  
* crewcutCaptain [CC] has ceased pestering godlikeTestificate [GT].  


Wolf sighed and ran his hands through his wet hair. He hated to talk to him; every time he did it felt worse than the time before, but he knew that as annoying as he was, Nyxxis was incredibly good at what he did: hacking. He'd stolen files in the past but out of boredom, not necessity. Wolf had grown to believe that one day he just decided 'hey lets hack into big brother that'd be fun lol.'


	2. It Begins

((AN: okay so basically stop flaming me int he comments section plebs!! if you dont like it dont read it!!!! just because you dont get the intricacies of my work doesnt mena you have to go on about it!))

Last login: Sun May 10 34:46:28 on ttys001  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ obfuscate  
How much would you like to obfuscate any incoming IP traffic?  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ obfuscate as-much-as-possible  
Obfuscating...  
Done.  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ sudo su;  
Attempt to get Root Permissions. Please input password.  
Password: aehgiuuin389s8afh2124tdfa  
Password accepted.  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum turntechGodhead  
Opening Pesterchum.  
* godlikeTestificate [GT] has requested to pester turntechGodhead [TG].  
* turntechGodhead [TG] has accepted.  
GT: yo  
TG: yo! sup babe?  
GT: nm lol. guess who messaged me  
TG: was it that Atem guy?!  
GT: nope not atem. wolfie  
TG: :0 why?  
GT: he offered me a job lmao. u ever heard of Тайный?  
TG: yeah! he's the russian guy, right?  
GT: ye lmao  
TG: do you want my help? i can come over  
GT: lol i dont need help but having someone hot like you around would be good for morale~~  
TG: :/  
GT: cmon babe  
TG: :///   
TG: fine. i'm omw  
GT: whoo   
GT: seeya babe  
* godlikeTestificate [GT] has ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG].  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum guillelessAmateur  
Contact guillelessAmateur not found.  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum guilelessAmateur  
Opening Pesterchum.  
* godlikeTestificate [GT] has requested to pester guillelessAmateur [GA].  
* guillelessAmateur [GA] has accepted.  
GA: Uh... Hi?  
GT: sup john remember when u said u wanted an internship  
GT: well todays your lucky day   
GA: Yeah but... I found your handle by mistake? I didn't mean for it to go to you...  
GT: god ur aggressivly pathetic. anyway i need a secondary contact. u wanna watch my tcp stream and mayb learn some skills?  
GA: ,,,  
GA: Alright.  
* godlikeTestificate [GT] has shared their terminal with guillelessAmateur [GA].  
GA: That's a... lot of terminals... wow.  
GT: ye lol i use a lot at a time  
GT: aight one sec  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ async pesterchum  
Done.  
New message:  GA: I'm waiting...  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum GA  nothing lol just asynced you  
New message:  GA: I see. Alright. What are we doing?  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum GA  hacking a russian spy lol  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum GA  wait one more sec  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum -creatememo hacknet  
* godlikeTestificate [GT] has created memo "Hacknet" [HN].  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum -invite [guillelessAmateur, crewcutCaptain, turntechGodhead] hacknet  
* godlikeTestificate [GT] has invited MULTIPLE PEOPLE to memo "Hacknet" [HN].  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  aight aight lmao memo time boys  
New message:  CC: Greetings, Nyxxis. Is there anything I can do for you?  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  o shit that was fast holy shit  
New message:  GA: Oh... Hi CC.  
New message:  CC: Hello, GA. I am Sergeant Dirk Wolf.  
New message:  GA: Oh uh.. I'm John Clayton.  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  hackers dont give out their real names dumbass  
New message:  TG: yo! im turntech, nyxxiss boyf!  
New message:  CC: Oh... I didn't realize you were... fruity.  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  damn blatant homophobia in the military damn :/ what a surprise  
New message:  TG: pfft he thinks ur a boy??  
New message:  CC: You're not a boy?  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  lol no u just assumed. i get taken more seriously when people think im a dude so i let it slide lol  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  aight aight lets get this party started  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN whats his ip again  
New message:  CC: 271.235.162.32  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  alrighty. thanks wolfie  
New message:  CC: Don't call me that, Nyxxie.  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  *nyxxie and only my boyfriend can call me that :/  
New message:  TG: oi! only i can call her that! ;P  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  jinx lol  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  anyway, can u see my screen john?  
New message:  CC: You know, I have a wife...  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  were off that topic wolfie  
New message:  GA: Yeah... I can see your screen.  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  ok ok here we go  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$  ping 271.235.162.32  
PING 234.123.152.32 (234.123.152.32): 56 data bytes  
WARNING: 9 Firewalls Located! Ping may trace poorly!  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  ah fuck  
New message:  GA: ...  
New message:  GA: Why would they need multiple firewalls?  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  for added security duh  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  im using like 27 rn  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  do u even know what a firewall is  
New message:  GA: I mean... I think I know a little?  
New message:  GA: I wrote a paper on it a while back...  
New File from guilelessAllegence: [firewall.html](https://chasehult.github.io/firewall.html)  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  wh  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  no a firewall is a wall of fire that blocks peoeple from getting into ur comp  
New message:  GA: I mean... I guess that's the idea... I think it's supposed to protect _against_ fire... I trust you though! I'm sure you know more!  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  ye lol don't disrespecc the hacc  
New message:  GA: Alright! I'm sorry...  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  ur fine dw  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  anyway lets get those firewalls down  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$  scan firewall 271.235.162.32  
Each firewall has a unique error hidden within. Would you like to exploit them manually, or have it automated?  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$  automated  
New message:  GA: Hey uh... how does that work? The prefix before each line (nyxxis@Hacknet) means that it's starting a new command... You shouldn't be able to answer a question in the next prompt...  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  uhhhh prolly some trick with aliases or smth lol  
New message:  GA: Oh. Alright...  
All Firewalls have been broken. VPN detected. Count: 8.  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  fucking shit! multiple vpns??  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  jfc  
New message:  GA: Well uh... that's actually more normal?  
New message:  GA: Chaining proxies together is super common!  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  i said vpns not proxies numbnuts  
New message:  GA: I mean... you're right. They're different, but also very similar.  
New message:  GA: A VPN encrypts ALL of your traffic and makes it seem like it's coming from a different device.  
New message:  GA: But a proxy only encrypts the traffic of one browser. You use a proxy for a web surf, but a VPN for your computer as a whole.  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  duh who wouldnt know that lol  
New message:  CC: Me.  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  you dont count  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$  proxyHop 8  
Hopping between proxies. 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... Warning: Virus detected  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  jesus fucking christ!  
New message:  GA: Oh no... I wonder how it got in!  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  the firewall was trapped!! ugh  
New message:  GA: Well... it is possible for someone to remotely get into your computer, but it would take the most skilled hacker almost a week to hack into... well... my grandma's computer?  
New message:  GA: Brute forcing a password is really difficult, and just like... the amount of time it takes...  
New message:  GA: As long as you have a secure password, the only way to get a virus is through like... downloading something bad. Well not only downloading it, I guess... you also have to run the file!  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  no no u gotta understand he used a double mobius reacharound with a phenotype of terminal prompting  
New message:  GA: Oh. That makes perfect sense! I didn't realize it was that simple. Sorry...  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  no problem boblem but don't make dumb mistakes again lol  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ purge virus  
Scanning for viruses............ Found! Quarantining..... Done!  
Hopping last proxy.... 8.... Done!  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  yeehaw cowboys  
New message:  TG: ding dong!  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  :?  
New message:  TG: im at your house!!!  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  oh shit ill brb yall  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  alright back. turntech and i are sharing the keyboard. now we'll go twice as fast! nothing can stop us as a team!!  
New message:  GA: You're... both using the same keyboard? That seems... inefficient...  
New message:  TG: for most people maybe but we're the ULTIMATE tagteam duo!!  
New message:  GA: Huh... It must have taken a lot of practice.  
New message:  TG: far too much tbh...  
New message:  GA: That's honestly really impressive...  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  aight no need to drill us damn. if ud seen like any cool hacking movie youd see thats what they do lol  
New message:  GA: You're... not wrong... but why?  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  clout lol  
New message:  GA: Is that a typo..?  
New message:  CC: It's been almost five minutes... are you alright?  
New message:  GA: I don't know... She's not doing anything on her terminal...  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  aight aight ur not the only one who can make fancy websites  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN file [clout.pptx](https://prezi.com/view/kY5r7IyXhKjyXrTS4tSR/)  
New message:  GA: ...  
New message:  GA: Is that a powerpoint?  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  uh  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  yeah  
New message:  GA: Alright...  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ Proxy hop complete. System infiltrated.  
New message:  GA: Oh! She infiltrated the system!  
New message:  CC: Wow! I'm proud of you, Nyxxis.  
* technomanticCriminal [TC] has infiltrated the memo.  
New message:  GA: Oh no... You even have a personalized memo entrance message.  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  oh no  
HackNet:~ nyxxis$ pesterchum HN  T...  


TO BE CONTINUED


	3. The Ultimate Battle

((AN: TBD))


End file.
